Чак Норис и JVM

[F9SSS]

Chuck Nor­ris can make a class that is both abstract and final.
Chuck Nor­ris seri­al­izes objects straight into human skulls.
Chuck Nor­ris doesn’t deploy web appli­ca­tions, he round­house kicks them into the server.
Chuck Nor­ris always uses his own design pat­terns, and his favorite is the Round­house Kick.
Chuck Nor­ris could use any­thing in java.util.* to kill you, includ­ing the javadocs.

Chuck Nor­ris can hit you so hard your web app will turn into a swing appli­ca­tion, and a very bad swing appli­ca­tion con­tain­ing lots of icons of human skulls.
Chuck Nor­ris demon­strated the mean­ing of Float.POSITIVE_INFINITY by count­ing to it, twice.
A syn­chro­nize doesn’t pro­tect against Chuck Nor­ris, if he wants the object, he takes it.
Chuck Nor­ris doesn’t use javac, he codes java by using a binary edi­tor on the class files.
Chuck Nor­ris’ java code never needs to be opti­mized. His code is so fast that it broke the speed of light dur­ing a test run in Sun’s labs killing 37 people.
When some­one attempts to use one of Chuck Nor­ris’ dep­re­cated meth­ods, they auto­mat­i­cally get a round­house kick to the face at com­pile time.
The java.lang pack­age orig­i­nally con­tained a Chuc­kNor­ris class, but it punched its way out the pack­age dur­ing a design review and round­house kicked Bill Joy in the face.
Chuck Nor­ris never has a bug in his code, EVER!
Chuck Nor­ris doesn’t write code. He stares at a com­puter screen until he gets the progam he wants.
Code runs faster when Chuck Nor­ris watches it.
Chuck Nor­ris’ binary edited classes ignore Java byte­code verifier.
Chuck Nor­ris meth­ods doesn’t catch excep­tions becuase no one has the guts to throw any at them.
Chuck Nor­ris will cast a value to any type just by star­ing at it.
If you get a Chuc­kNor­ri­sEx­cep­tion you’ll prob­a­bly die.
Chuck Nor­ris is the only one who can use goto and const in Java.
Chuck Nor­ris can com­pile Java code in .NET Frame­work, obvi­ously just by star­ing at it.
Chuck dont need to catch an Excep­tion because Java is afraid of the “fly­ing tor­nado kick” at the moment it throws
Chuck Norris’s code can round­house kick all other Java Objects’ privates
Java vis­i­bil­ity lev­els are pub­lic, default, pro­tected, pri­vate and “pro­tected by Chuck Nor­ris”, don’t try to access a field with this last modifier!!
Chuck Nor­ris eats Jav­aBeans and Round­house Kicks JavaServer Faces!
Chuck Nor­ris can divide by 0!
Garbage col­lec­tor only runs on Chuck Nor­ris code to col­lect the bodies.
Chuck Nor­ris code uses agres­sive heap natively
Every sin­gle line code of Chuck Nor­ris runs in real time. Even in a multi thread­ing application.
When a CPU load a Chuck Nor­ris class file, it dou­bles the speed.
Chuck Nor­ris can exe­cute 64bit lenght instruc­tions in a 32bit CPU.
Chuck Nor­ris imple­ments “Inde­struc­tible”. All the other crea­tures imple­ments “Killable”.
Chuck Nor­ris only pro­gram Java web appli­ca­tions to get a .WAR in the end.
Chuck Nor­ris once round­house kicked a Java class very hard. The result is known as a inner class.
Chuck Nor­ris can do mul­ti­ple inher­i­tance in Java.
JVM never throws excep­tions to Chuck Nor­ris, not any­more. 753 killed Sun engi­neers is enough.
Chuck Nor­ris doesn’t need unit tests because his code always work. ALWAYS.
Chuck Nor­ris extends God.
Chuck Nor­ris work­sta­tion has so mem­ory and it’s so pow­er­ful that he could run all java appli­ca­tions in the world and get 2% of resources usage.
Chuck Nor­ris codes gener­ics since 1.3.
Chuck Nor­ris’ classes can’t be decom­piled… don’t bother trying.


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@темы: Идеи, Цитаты, Анекдотное

Comments

[Ri]

весело

[F9SSS]

ага. креатив очень порадовал